First Blog

From childhood, I was very fond of writing in journals. In my 18 years of life, I had in total, about 8 journals. The fact that I can pour out my emotions onto a piece of paper amused me when I was in the 3rd grade. We use to have a book fair every year at school, where I purchased my first journal from. It was beige with a light pink flower design on the cover, made of fabric. I purchased it in a haste and started writing on a fresh new page. Throughout my elementary and middle school years, I wrote about little boy crushes/fantasies, fights or arguments with friends and ofcourse my wishes and dreams for the future. Everywhere I went, the journal followed me like a shadow. Every chance I got, I would withdraw a pen and sink the paper into the ink full of my thoughts and emotions.
This may lead you to ponder about what exactly can an 8 year old write about, but the truth is children have much more of an imagination than adults do and tend to be very expressive.
One night as I was watching TV, I heard my older sister reading my journal out loud to my other sisters. Blood rushed to my head, in anger I jumped off the couch and ran to her. Furious, I snatched my journal out of her hand with tears in my eyes. My sisters stood their laughing at me, making fun of my every thought and emotion. I wept hysterically. The most private thoughts of mine were "raped." I could not believe something so emotional and sentimental was made fun of so easily. My feelings were considered a joke and my desires to be never accomplished. After that day I had stopped writing in journals with the fear that my feelings would be harassed again.
Now in college, I am yet again challenged to face this fear of pouring out my emotions through writing. It feels very different typing up my emotions rather than writing them down on a piece of paper but I just may get use to it, since now everything we do in life is linked to technology. In a way it is easier to type journals out than writing them down. First off it saves time and also it isn't painful for your hand. I don't mind publicly displaying my thoughts and feelings through this blog. Maybe in a way this class will teach me to be expressive and not to hide my sentiments. I shouldn't be afraid of the fact that I will be teased once again because now I am among people of my age, understanding and situation. I actually like this idea of doing this blog as a requirement for a class because maybe it will allow me to develop strongly as a creative writer.